Friday, October 19, 2007

Teaching the Skills

One thing that I always think about is what am I teaching? What am I teaching other people about me when I do something? Now, I'm not compulsive about it but I do try to notice how I act. I try not to act in a certain way just so people will like me -- being antiwar with one crowd and prowar with another, etc -- but you know what? I sometimes don't speak out when I should. But when I act and when I talk, what am I saying about me? Do I need to tell people I'm a Jesus-freak, or will they notice in a short time?

- When I'm driving with my children in the car, do I swear and shake my fist at people that cut me off?

- When a waitress or the kitchen gets my order wrong, do I handle it with class?

- When I'm watching sports and my team loses, do I get upset? Am I so nervous about the outcome of a close game that I ignore everything else in the house?

- Do I buy things I can't afford?

None of those things are crimes, but how I handle them tells my children how to handle them. And, when I mess one of them up (I've done each of the items in the list wrong at least once), how I apologize and stand up to my mistakes tells them a lot, too.

It's the principle of Caught vs. Taught. You can teach, you can preach, but when they catch you doing good or doing bad, that's what they are going to learn. Am I perfect? Far from it. But when I mess up and someone shows me grace, that's a lesson, too.

Remember, too, that you can't influence your children in this way if you are never around them. In another recent post I discussed Combining -- finding interests and involving others and involving God, therefore making them a ministry. It's a good way to keep you fresh and focused. It's a good way to have time to cram it all in a life. Combinations also work with kids. Find something they like to do, do it with them and learn from them. Find something you like to do, and have them do it with you. Teach them. You'll be teaching more than one lesson.

I go in spurts, to be honest. I have a 14-year old boy who is in that grey zone between wanting to spend time with me and wanting to break free and to be increasingly independent. It's hard to tell which he wants, but based on some trouble he's been in lately, I know that right now I need to be around him more. We've shared a lot of things, disc golf, paintball, snowboarding, TaeKwonDo; it's all been fun, but it's all passed, too. I'm looking for the next thing we can do together. I really believe the time is of a higher quality when guys are active with their children.

With my 8-year-old, who is a big fan of the Yugioh trading card game, I've been learning from him. I've read opinions that Yugioh and games like it scare kids and are a gift from the Devil himself. I disagree with that assessment, but I can only stand by that opinion because I've spent a lot of time with my son and I know the game and I know the cards and I know my son. In the game, he sometimes wins and I sometimes win. He wins and loses as well as I do, because he's learning how to handle it from me. In this way, we spend time together, we learn strategy together (there is a baffling amount of strategy in this complex game) and we discuss a wide range of topics. On Saturdays he goes to a tournament for under 16 kids and he plays and often wins.

One of our Christian brothers is a competitive fisherman. His partner is his 11 year old son. Why? He wanted to fish competitively, but it took too much time away from being a father. Now he can do both. That's combining! You can't pass up chances to be around your children.

I say all this not to brag -- it looks like I am, I know, and I can't get around that if I want to make my point. The point is: combine your interests and your children's interests so you do one of each. I'm failing my 14-year-old right now, but I'm going to find a way to change it. Maybe it will be RC cars or competition swimming, but we will combine something, we'll include God and I'll do my best to show him how God wants a man to act.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Why a disc golf group?

I wanted to start a men's group, but I have many commitments and priorities. With those, I don't get much time for fellowship and recreation. This goes with the territory and isn't unusual. I chose to be a husband and father and with the choice comes different commitments. But, I think it's pretty easy to fit additional things into a hectic schedule; if only one combines.

I combined two interests: disc golf and church. I do this same thing with my kids. I find an interest of their and I do it with them; we get time together, they get an enjoyable activity.

If you have a hobby, any hobby, or recreational pursuit, there is room for God in it. Just make it a men's group and get a couple of guys and go fishing, bowling, golfing, swimming, running, whatever. It matters not except that you are giving guys a chance to be around other Christians and prop them up. The more time we spend around Christians, the more likely we are to become stronger in our faith. Some will be stronger than you. Others might not. You will influence and be influenced. You will give them something to do other than the things they've always done and that have gotten them nowhere. It doesn't need to be a bible study. Just ask a few guys to join you when you are doing something and keep God part of it and you'll be great. I laid out only a few rules: be respectful, keep the smoking and swearing to a minimum (for some it's not easy to eliminate altogether, even if they are trying), leave the beer for other occasions, keep what's said private and be transparent. Those simple rules make for church anywhere you and one other Christian are.

No group this weekend

I will be out of town this weekend (Oct 20th & Oct 21st), so I won't be able to host a group. Feel free to come out and play a round solo or make your own group. Remember, where there are two or more Christians, there is a church.

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Throwing Solo

Sunday was the big Dallas Cowboys vs. New England Patriots battle of unbeatens so I was out soloing. I committed to being there, but I understand: Texas is football crazy and even the "I'd rather do than watch" crowd wanted to watch the biggest game so far in the year. At the end, probably most of them wished they'd gone disc golfing instead.

Anyway, I won!! It was very windy and I took a +7. Still can't break that par barrier, but it's been so quiet here lately that it took some adjustments to play in the wind again.

Monday, October 8, 2007

Already a two-time champion!

Bruce won it again. The guy is a bunch ahead of the rest of us. He shot a -3 and didn't even play that well, for him (he commonly takes it down to the double digits below par. Another guy we had in the group today, Justin, recently shot -9 at Lamar in the blind doubles and lost. Three groups shot -11 that day! Come on, that's just not fair!

Thursday, October 4, 2007

Does God watch sports?

The latest issue of ESPN The Magazine has a story about Detroit Lions quarterback Jon Kitna's open Christian faith. Jon has been mocked because he attributed his ability to come back from a concussion to lead his team to an overtime win. He said it was a miracle at the hand of God.

When I'd see a guy point to the sky after a touchdown, I once said, too, before I accepted Christ back into my life: "Oh, yeah, God is watching this game." What I didn't realize was that a Christian believes God is omnipresent. He's everywhere, so He is watching the game, but only because people are participating in it. Do I personally believe that He is manipulating the outcome? It is my belief that God gives us gifts and skills and dreams so that we can use them to serve Him, or to help others. So a running back crossing the goal line then pointing skyward to give the glory to God isn't necessarily being ridiculous. I don't think he's saying, "God did this, God moved the tacklers out of my way!" I think he's saying, "God is great, he's given me gifts of athleticism and work ethic and I used those gifts to score a touchdown. So, thank you, God!"

I believe God is constantly moving us around, asking things of us, changing those requests (demands?) and manipulating us for our growth. But He's also the God of free will, who let's us make choices. If He gave us the gift of work ethic and athleticism but chose to not use it, that's on us.

I pray before I tee off each time I play a round of disc golf. It's no amazing prayer, and there are usually no requests, just thanks. To be outside, sandwiched between God's earth and sky, to be relaxing, remembering God, hanging out with friends, playing and competing, those are all worthwhile reasons to be thanking God.

Monday, October 1, 2007

Game Over

Steve and I had a good game yesterday. We met up with Justin, who was a much better player than Steve and I, who were more evenly matched. Though Justin was tiring after playing several rounds before Steve and I arrived, he still played well enough and took the weekly crown, though I'm not sure I even told him.

Hope we get a better BAF men's turn-out next weekend; and I hope the weather starts to cool down and isn't so steamy.